built to last.

cny passed so fast. but it was :D :D

day one cny.

probably for the first time in history, first day’s dinner wasnt at ahma’s house. went to uncle bt and aunty diana’s house instead. it kind of brought back queer & fond memories. of good old times, and of cos the terrible sessions of physics & chem tuition. & of sherilyn. :)

purple princess & i :)

she’s really special to me, somehow. can’t believe i knew her from the day she was born. i still rmb aunty diana being pregnant and asking me to help choose her name. ‘matilda or sherilyn.’ :) i watched her grow up. it’s funny how i used to be so so so close to her. she was kind of like my own daughter. probably the one and only time i would ever be so close to someone 10 years younger than me. i’d pamper her like crazy. we even went to malaysia together. she used to want to only sit, eat, walk, talk with me. we’d meet everyweek, and i’d look forward to it so much. she’d call me her best friend and invite me over for her birthdays every year. and i’d call her purple princess. it was special. but that was when she was 3, 4, 5, 6, 7? now she’s 10 and quite grown up. how time flies. i can talk to her like i’m talking to a friend. no more baby talk or carrying her around. but i still remember everything, up till today. & it’s funny cos i dont think i’m even as close to megan as i was with her. well well. :D

second day was wake up early, watched red cliff halfway, felt guilty so went to study :S hahaha. then lunch at thai express with family! and then a couple of us went to lum’s house for fun. it wasn’t considered visiting cos we never went up, never gave oranges or got any angbaos. but it was exciting i tell you, HAHA. cos we rotted in the function room with lots of food (yes i bet they all think im a pig now cos i ate so much) and played poker with different types of nuts :D peanuts were 5 dollars and guazi was 1 dollar and pistachios were 10 dollars. we all started with 55 dollars and chia & tuan together are damn lousy lol. they never won once, not at all. and they had to keep drawing from the reserves until it ran completely dry -.- hahaha. tsura was owning everyone all the way (dont know why he so lucky) until towards the end i started catching up alot (from almost going bankrupt). then tsura said: i feel threatened. so we decided to count our wealth and i had 232 peanuts’ worth of dollars hahaha. BUT tsura had 233, dang! :P ok so it was quite fun and all. then we went up to lum’s rooftop where the nice swing was, but it seemed to be nicer the last time i went at night.

i love my cg.

of peanuts and playful people :D

went to da gugu’s house after that and slept -___- haha. anticlimax but very tired and didnt wanna study (though i brought my book) and ate and cos she lives at potong pasir so i took a nice visit back to sa. i realised how much i like the school, building and all. i concluded that sa days were most fun haha. even though cedar was fun, it was too secondary school and all and there were restrictions and all. and cedar’s kind of fun was probably the kind of fun you get from being in a very fun school environment where everyone feels kind of together and happy and enthusiastic. but sa’s fun was more than that. sa days were the days :) of making the best friends & doing the craziest things. i was standing outside the general office and everything i could see reminded me of something. everyone and everything. it even made me miss hearing cs call me foxy. HAHA. let’s just say that stepping back into school grounds brought back all these detailed memories that are still very vivid, like as if it all happened yesterday. i could tell you exactly what happened. and i bet if i were to write a book on it i could never end :)

gosh i suddenly miss everything about jc. that’s partly because i’m so bored now and i cant keep thinking about random jc moments. and also because of the song that’s playing.

do you remember the time 10 of us cedarians got caught by ms k and had to line ourselves outside the staffroom and endure 1 hour of scolding? and the time ms faizah walked out of lecture? or the time 06A2 walked on out daryl lim? or the time mr peh made us tiramisu? and the time when only 2 people in class turned up for school? and the time we went to complain about ms k? and the time we sat by our venturi effect place to sing? or the carom and taboo sessions? and the time ms k caught cs and andi changing in the lt? how about the time we planned a surprise party under the tunnel for aisha? or the time mr yoong yelled at house comm because of cny? do you remember the 2 earthquakes, 1 on our geog exam day? the times we climbed over the gate? tried to get green slips? sneaked out in puss’ mum’s car? how about trashing every class in captains ball? ;D playing with the rubics cube at the last row during maths lecture & our whole row had no notes on our desks at all? oh how about chinese lessons and throwing paper planes around? and do you remember getting caught for short skirts and being forced to borrow long ones? and orientation? life parade pracs? how about the touch rugby field? i remember hating that & always coming up with ways to pon trngs ;D and do you all remember our 06A1 classroom with the notice board that made casey leong say smth? i remember morning worships. do you remember singing sessions in the lt? and those lit classes that made us sleep. can you remember serving detention for going back to cedar on a wednesday and getting caught by a car full of PE teachers? how about ndp singing? and clique times? everyday was clique time. do you remember our teachers? casey leong, ms faizah, mr chay, lee suilian, daryl lim, basket leong, ms k, mr peh, mr yoong and mrs wee. each of them had something very special about themselves. and our classmates? andi, chiaw sang and shaun and how they used to bully chum. the hilarious people like olivia, tiffany, jiexin, eliza, terri-ann. then there was fellow bimbo char & celine kimmmmm. do you remember our gang leader? the one with the coloured contacts :P HAHAHA. how much do you remember of life in sajc? :)

my lovely school.

so after that was aunty patsy’s house. wii :D and megan. and did abit of studying. really minimal studying though. ma spoiler.

starbucks at night for just one hour but it was nice too :)

ma lesson today was fun :D apart from the silly test. there was the game. game was very exciting! haha.

PS: im such a noob i only JUST found out that i can blog in colours ;D

take me for a

roller coaster ride.

many ups and downs and its finally cny. i also dont know why the sudden feeling. but everything was really up up up and all that could fill my mind was positive things. all the way till this morning, then i cried :’( hahaha. very silly. i was probably tired and thinking too much. im so lousy, and i know that’s my weakness. hahaha. which only goes to show that inside, i’ve not changed at all, and you’re still the same to me. important & irreplacable :)

oh so syiyar came to accept Christ yesterday morning :) met her and mean for breakfast at macs and it was good good. oh meanie gave me percy pig and pals :D then church and lunch with cg. and mean came too :D think it wasnt so bad. and we played arcade after that. hahaha, i have hidden talent in daytona and bishi bashi.

then it was home and spring cleaning my room. :D i feel so proud of myself cos my room’s so neat and clean now. before that, it was just a horrible mess. haha.

that was BEFORE.

AFTER :)

reunion dinner this year was strange because no extended family gathering at ahma’s house. like my mum just came into the room.

her: i quite miss the whole big family reunion dinner feeling. me: why? we not having this year? her: ya cos ahma decided not to have. me: why? her: you know she’s wheelchair bound forever and she doesn’t know it. she still thinks that she can walk again someday. everyone never tell her. me: then why must call off? her: dont know. didn’t think that last year would be the last time we’d have extended family reunion dinner together. now no more. me: HUH? WHY. you mean next year wont have? her: since ahma say from this year onwards wont means this year onwards wont have already. me: huh then what happens one day if she’s.. not around. will still have not? her: i dont know. maybe. see you never know when is anyone’s last. so must always treasure.. (ok can’t remember anymore)

but when i heard that (or rather had that conversation) i was like, very sad. something just hit me i suppose. i just remember thinking that i should have cherished all the past reunion dinners with everyone now that there’s gonna be no more (even though i was super antisocial and distant from everyone). but since ahma said no more, means no more. as in, well but then the sad thing is, if we ever have extended family reunion dinner again next time, i’d know that it would be when ahma’s gone. and i hate to think about sad stuff like that because she’s already so old ):

so anyway it was 4 of us reunion dinner at lao beijing. but i enjoyed it alot (: and then we watched the wedding game which i thought would be very stupid, but no. actually i enjoyed it alot :D very very cute and sweet.

actually, i feel so encouraged by all that’s been happening lately. when i think back and remember the stuff i used to pray for, i realise that God’s slowly answering them now, in His time. i remember the praying for two of them, the crying and claiming that as a promise (actually i had forgotton all about it till ytd night). and i remember last year’s easter where mean said she knew and she believed but she would never wanna be one ever. and i remember the period of loneliness i felt being only girl in cg. i remember praying before genting how i’d wanna get to know every one personally. and i can see how God’s grown me and used me and helped me in every way. i remember the bitterness and hurt after stepping down. but i see how God has worked. but most of all, i remember saying this once when i was much younger. and that was, ‘if i ever let go of You, don’t ever let me go.’ and i believe that was the most precious line i ever said to God. and that really saved me :)

for the first time, i talked to justin woo so much last night. as in shared, mainly about cg stuff. it was another encouraging opportunity i suppose. i feel like im getting to know the cg better, bit by bit. it has already been a year since that talk at genting. hahaha.

and visiting this morning! food, angbaos :) what else? nothing. HAHA.

ok but anyway, i am feeling kind of happy now.

dearest pit,

I can’t remember when you weren’t there
When I didn’t care for anyone but you
I swear we’ve been through everything there is
Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed
Can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do

Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you, through the years
I’ve never been afraid, I’ve loved the life we’ve made
And I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can’t remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, whom I listened to before
I swear you’ve taught me everything I know
Can’t imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I know how much we had, I’ve always been so glad
To be with you, through the years
It’s better everyday, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you, through the years
I never had a doubt, we’d always work things out
I’ve learned what love’s about, by loving you
Through the years.

I know this is some kind of song for couples or something BUT I DONT CARE :)

dazed.

had breakfast & lunch with my parents on friday. collected bam from bobo (: i now have 3 little hamsters at home. and then went shopping!

met jaslyn for more shopping & catching up. we bought a toy car for her book zzz. and brownies. HAHAHA. actually i’m really happy that we met because i kind of miss her around. i remember the last time we were close was when i was sec 4/j1? and that was already not so close. so, i really liked it and you know, we can still talk :D it was quite a blessing. yay thank you God. haha.

and we walked alot alot alot. from taka to forum then all the way to smuuuuu. and then met meanie for follow up and dinner after that. and talked.

follow up was :) and all but YOU KNOW MEANIE, i know we were both feeling s & s. haha, i bet we were thinking about our own stuff throughout but I know you have peace now so :D and follow up was nice right?! and i still sent meanie all the way home though we didnt even talk at all on the bus zzz. so silly. i think we both felt slightly grumpy. but you know i love you lots.

and i feel stupid going back to school so many times in one day when i dont even have school.

yay for gsrs (:

had LTB meeting yesterday in the morning :S bevan and i were too early haha, but it was ok.

and then stoned at cathay while waiting for tx. watched changeling :) it was really quite nice. and then walked and walked and walked aimlessly, haha. cg after that and syiyar came :)

ok i really thank God for every single that’s happening right now, in cg, in my life, in my family (:

YAY CHINESE NEW YEAR TOMORROW and i am off to meet meanie and syiyarrrr first.

red&purple.

I’m in a super chinese new year mood already (: YEA BABY. Ready to shop, eat and I dont know, meet friends. Haha.

Accompanied dee and puss for asoc dinner prac. Then it was asoc dinner. Felt kind of er, funny I think. But not bad la, I only liked the photo taking parts :)

- will find a way.

what a long day yesterday. classes were BORING. ppp was quite nice. guitar hero, watching our sat show, pizzas & chicken wings! (: and ltb today was FUN. insanity. my group is nuts, but i guess in some certain aspect, it’s worrying as well because we’re rather unsettled.

what happened yesterday was somewhat, WOW.
it just happened, it just happened.
i don’t know how, and why you did it.
and what to do now.
i never thought that this day would come, to me.

how about let’s listen to my saxophone and lion king songs now. hahaha (:

tell me

why.

pretty distractions.

thy cherry is bored in stats class. though she should really be paying attention because there’s gonna be a quizz later, she’s not. and yea! she can blog because she’s sitting at the back row :)

ok ltb meeting yesterday was chopchop. did letter of intent. after that met eugene, lum and some others to buy bday gifts for derric & chia. it was some last minute thing and i ended up reaching home only at 10 ):

MA class is slightly amusing but i NEVER pay attention. am looking at photos of pretty flowers now :D oh after production, i decided on a new favourite flower, on par with gerberas of course. lilies :D heeee. especially orangey looking ones. love it alot!

very very very pretty hor :)

heart meltssss <3 i swear these are the prettiest flowers on earth :) :) :)

and,

CNY’S COMING :D very happy. bahkua, pineapple tarts and angbaos whoo. and shopping! :) and no school. and visitations. i wanna have cg, dance, clique visitations :D and many many more.

oh and lianzy, even though you never ever read this, soyabean milk without sugar is NOT NICE. haha.

blueees clues.

it’s so tiring to listen everyday. my patience is already wearing thin. i want to say wake up. but i can’t. so can i box you?

the way you say things, what a burden ): i wonder who else can take it.

thanks bobo for er listening HAHA.

post production blues set in right on sunday ): hahaha. feels kind of weird not having 2-10 dance. but i guess lunch with meanie at fisherman’s wharf was enough to make me happier! and to the foodcourt to chill. she was distracted but i didn’t think it was weird. cos i know how you feel. i didn’t do any readings on sunday at all. adjusting back to study mode is a chore. CHORE CHORE CHORE. i am not a mugger.

school on monday wasn’t so bad. did most of my bizlaw readings in the morning. then lunch and to school :) and tricia and i were NOT paying attention at all. we were entertaining ourselves on fb with all the photos and comments. then sent my laptop to cit to get the stats software downloaded. chilled awhile before ltb meeting. ltb meetings are quite fun :D and then dinner date with ahtan. it was just a short nice one at kopitiam actually. haha.

woke up at 8 today to take train down to town with meanie. but actually i was meeting bobo. had a nice starbucks breakfast and er yay TUMBLER :D then to farrer park, mustafa! mustafa’s bangle heaven. actually they have everything in the world. from hairbands, bangles, watches, clothes, shoes, medicines, food to er sthethoscopes. HAHA. ziyan came too. and then we had lunch with meanie at somerset again. during lunch we made shocking discoveries about our dear ziyan. bottomline is she’s determined not to get married because ‘isn’t being alone so fun?!’ HAHAHA. my goodness. and now im back home. there’s ltb meeting again later.

beyond songs are on repeat mode.

and this makes me happy. (sorry cg guys your flowers died HAHA) and oh now i sleep with my two carebears everynight :)

and i’m really looking forward to post-production party TOMORROW! :D

feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. no one else, on one else can speak the words on your lips, drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten. :D

it’s not over.

my heart is full of endless gratitude,
you were the one, the one to guide me (us) through.
now i can see, and i believe,
it’s only just the beginning.
this is what we dream about,
but the only question with me now,
is, do i make you proud?

-do i make you proud, taylor hicks.

did we? dan? kelly? :)

the one and only reason why i’m holding back and taking so long to blog about BEYOND is because i have too much to say. i don’t know where to start, how to say it and how to express all the emotions properly. haha. but yet if i don’t blog about it i’ll forget all the things that i had in mind and wanted to say (which is just too many). i don’t ever ever want this feeling to fade away.

i’m so sad that it has ended but i didn’t cry at all. yet i’m so happy that we did well and pulled off a great show on saturday. i’m so proud of us all, esp my item people :D i’m so in love with all the dancers and dances. i’m so thankful for my friends that came and gave me all the many cute things.
and it was all so memorable :D

i’m thankful for the friends i’ve made through dance. all the :) :D :( :’( :’) we’ve been through in this short 1-2 months. the intense daily practices. the stress of letting everyone down because we were so afraid of not performing up to standard. the bitching sessions, chill outs, lunches, dinners. the clean ups. the good laughs we had. the times we snapped. the 3 days at vt. the frustrations we faced because we could never perfect the dance (and actually i think we still cant hahaha). those muscle aches and bruises. and more, and more and much much more :D

everything about it makes me smile haha, i feel kind of sick. even the very zzz msg from him makes me laugh. i’m glad zhigang and desmond didnt throw the note away like i told them to. even my best friend is very much erm, cherished. HAHA, without her, we wouldn’t be where we are today. and kelly, i love you man :) you’re best choreographer we could get.

and thank you everyone who came and gave me stuff :) i feel loved.

well the bottomline is:
I LOVE DANCE and I MISS DANCE :’(

beyond gave me the best experience i could ask for.