today is the day,

something’s wrong with me. like my voice. maybe just me lah. become so grumpy these few days ): haha. and spent so much money yesterday too.

i wanna go for that ocip :D

saturday was well, another one of those days in the morning. had dinner with my cg guys at pomo ishi mura (: then chilled at cathay b&js for awhile. they so bad say my captains ball team sure cannot win! :S but maybe really cannot haha.

sunday was church then lunch with meanie. met some random church people at pasta mania. and the smu people :D now there’s buddy and sarah year 4, winston year 3, me year 2, meanie jeanne christina joash year 1. and next year gonna have daniel loke justin wie and woo :D haha. YAY. watched where got ghost. haha. really very stupid and funny and abit scary. but its not scary like, horror. just stupidly scary. more like creepy. then dinner with my family (: and oh walk at bishan park with monster. so random.

monday was day off for monster (: fareast shopping! never buy anything. and then marketing. i like marketing :D yay cos finally ONE module in smu that i like (apart from ltb) hahaha. really very good. makes my mondays and wednesdays better (: progs meeting after that followed by tauhuay with bizcom. from famous five to secret seven then oceans eleven finally cut down to SNSD! :D haha omg silly. dennet actually sent us an email with their photo asking us to choose.

yesterday fareast again. this time i bought many many things ): and meanie was happily gloating away. HAHA. just because i spent money! but i have my shaped bag and more more more. twing. then ms. ms was okay this time. jack came this week and oh we have a very weird group member. ding qing is uber slack he gave us 40 mims break :D yay. then had pageant catwalk again. mahfan mahfan everything everyone now so mahfan lucky bash is tmr and then no more!

maybe today will be one of the worst and best days in my life.

today is the day you have made, i will rejoice and be glad in it. i won’t worry about tomorrow, i’m giving you my fears and sorrows, where you lead me i will follow, i’m trusting in what you say, today is the day (:

week one and so many things

‘you can’t connect the dots looking forward. you can only connect them looking backwards.. because believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.‘ – steve jobs (:

very inspirational yes? but its made me even more uncertain.

omg its nearly 10 and i havent washed the toilet, changed bedsheet or washed my hamter cage! haha.

the first week was, like that lor :D

i guess school’s fine. my timetable’s okay now. i don’t want week 9 to come! ftftft. then i’d have monday 12pm lessons. swam with meanie on tuesday. 40 laps bishan swimming complex. next biggest achievement after 42km of cycling (: im one pretend-to-be-sporty girl. haha. i got new goggles and they are rather loose haha. cannot adjust leh why?

wednesday only marketing. very good (: met buddy in the morning for breakfast! havent seen her in ages and it was nice catching up with her. she’s year 4 already know omg. so fast (: and its nice to have a senior that’s so senior i can ask her about stuff like exchange and bsms. only cannot get textbooks cos too long ago already ): hahaha. and like i could still tell her stuff (: we shall meet again. <3

then it was facial. and then to school. helped to collect kai dresses. they all look the same haha. I LIKE MARKETING. so far (:

bash general meeting at night (: (: the slides were POWER. yay to dennet and myself. and alson’s birthday so had nice banana chocolate cake. games demo was also super funny. laugh and laugh and laugh at them trying to squirt water at each other.

thursday was DAY OFF :D wanted to go ice skating but no time in the end. so just stayed around kallang. national stadium! (: haha. after that vivace full dress for pageant people again.

vivace on friday! and mpw class. mpw was like ftb ltb cum counselling session omg so emo haha. and must do weekly learning journals and have weekly tests. and she says she’ll put a tick beside the name of whoever talks in class. I HATE THAT KIND OF CLASS PART. sucks. anyway yes emo. hahaha.

vivace was busyyyyyy x10 and i had to shout alot, to many people over the music. submit ftb bash order form, still must take care of the goodie bags for my group, then be at bizcom booth, then at 2 must walk around give out stuff for indancity. still had to wear the jacket and shirt. poot. then must msg all the pageant contestants to meet 3pm. then must go meet them. they all late, so must call them. but so noisy so must shout above the noise. and then talk to people must shout shout shout. so now, no voice. haha. contestants’ performance was :D i like sean and nat tan’s one!! very very good. and geraldine can dance (:

night time was dinner out with zing seah monster and pittit (: zing’s birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D went to newyork newyork for dinner and seah was super high on i dont know what. very funny and he kept doing stupid stuff to make us laugh. i mean okay, its normal. and then camwhoring. he had the stupid one third rule which was so retarded. haha. and he kept disturbing the waitresses.

like membership only one year ah? can have lifetime membership? and we feel very neglected. but its okay can we just dont pay the 10% service charge?

we didnt bowl in the end but we went to ymca rooftop (: niceee. and then we gave zing his m&m cup, filled to the brim with m&ms and a donut on top (: and 22 mini candles all over the donut. then we played monopoly deal :D seah is freaking noisy. he didnt play so he made noise ALL THE TIME while we were playing. but its funny and happy.

i need to wash toilet now! its 10.24 already haha.

listen

to the sound from deep within
it's only beginning to find release

why are you holding on so tightly?

yesterday. met meanie to chill but lianzy came and joined in. then marketing. group was nice. there’s michael (: vivace for the pageant people till late. like 11. all in all the first day of school was fine,

but today just caught me by surprise.

ps: i swam 40 laps at bishan swimming complex :D im fit. and ms is like ma OMG.

i guess it must be so.

it was just abit, no, very disappointing today. and it affected me somehow.

sometimes i wish i could say i really dont care. but mostly i think i care too much to say i dont. so wth.

these few days i’ve been starting to think that uni’s actually kind of bad. like the people in uni generally are just different from me. i think there’re alot of bad influences around and like its really the norm to drink, club, swear, party and hang out late. really everyone thinks they can resist but mostly they just go with the flow and whatever. i feel most happy and most safe when im with my kind of people. like people in church (: the cg. and i think uni’s a hard place to make real friends. friends can, real friends cannot. maybe im just too anti social lah i cant seem to you know you know. nevermind ): i just hope i find more people like myself this next sem hahaha.

school’s starting tomorrow oh man. i think its actually okay la i just wonder what kind of people i’ll meet and what my life will be like. probably unhappening :D but who cares about being happening right. like maybe all i really need are just one or two people to keep me going. damn sad, my life damn sad.

okaaaay (:

but then, convocation on saturday. had to reach suntec at 830. so no life. sit there, watch pageant people and like stone around. 11am met facis and everyone was camwhoring. i was seriously like damn loner. haha. but then after awhile started to take photos and like pretend to have many friends. POOT. im so lazy la i seriously cannot be bothered with anything. i think im turning from bad to worse. like introvert to even more introvert. OKAAAY haha.

photos photos photos. then my group was late! (: they had brunch and i didnt join. anyway sat with them awhile and just as the ceremony was about to get started, i sneaked off with 20 odd facis and we all had pizza hut lunch (: lunch was nice and there was really really alot of phototaking the whole day. then cg. i liked cg. there was no leader and nothing proper. we had sharing and praying sharing and praying and then abit of small talk here and there. i like listening to the guys share about their army life even though i always feel damn left out and bored. i think the cg guys are the best, weird as they may seem. because i dont have to act happening or whatever around them (: its comfort level i suppose. and oh we witnessed loke and jerick do some weird sparring thing that was damn dangerous la.

today after church was 1 hour of vivace dance prac. then bizcom retreat at sentosa (: volleyball, captains ball and kayaking! i think it was quite fun. like well, i was happy anyway. dinner at subway and lots of talking and guessing (: thomson gang rocks can always take taxi home together i like!

i need more friends. okay goodnight goodbye.

i wonder if you will you know. nevermind.

i’m just a little bit caught in the middle,

i need textbooks for my next sem but i dont know what! im too lazy to check.

and i wanna sell my textbooks! will everyone please buy from me at high prices thanks :D haha.

the day before was pageant from like 3-10. goodness. even monopoly and payday could not kill time and take away the boredom haha. then slacked the whole of yesterday away. had a damn bad headache yesterday and everywhere pain. my wounds are better today (: but they still look yellow and gross.

dance was short yesterday. i couldnt roll on the floor cos of my knee. exco elections yesterday and many gave their speeches. they all look so happy and passionate about dance that it made me feel sad ): why cant i have that same kind of passion?

all it takes is abit of persuasion and brainwashing on my own part. and last night’s speeches helped (:

life is a maze and love is a riddle :D

but it was all worth it(:

i wanted to call this entry never cycle 42km in the rain or else you’ll fall down. haha (: or something along those lines.

but anyway that’s what i did yesterday! cycled in the drizzle with the cg guys and meanie. 42km! or more, maybe. it was damn tiring, but shiok. and fun :D and worth the fall and the aches now. maybe because i havent seen the cg guys too long so i miss them. or something.

woke up yesterday and saw the rain and haze and my heart sank ): hahah cos i really wanted to cycle. anyhow, met the cg at east coast macs at 8am. jerick & joel were first to reach. like before me. WOW. ate breakfast and waited for everyone to come. and then we looked at the rain and wondered if we could cycle. didnt really care so we waited until it became a drizzle then rented our bikes. started cycling at 930! (: took this PCN route thing which loke claims to be 42km or around there. think its similar to the sundown route or something. cycle cycle cycle. the guys are crazy. we had this safety prayer before we left and lucky we did haha. should’ve seen people like joel and jerick who just dont really care. tried all kinds of weird stunts and chased each other around in their bikes, ramming each other and what not. hello, doesnt mean you say safety prayer means can behave like that right! haha.

the weather was damn nice to cycle. after the drizzle stopped it was just cloudy and windy. passed many different parks and places like bedok resevior, tampines, sunplaza park, loyang, kembangan, old changi hospital, changi village, airport runway etc etc. got more but i cant remember. some parts were nice and wide and straight and could speed all the way down. others were just :S ACK.

everyone except lum and marcus fell. HAHA! jerick fell off on the road while trying a stunt. that was damn scary cos lucky had no car behind him if not sure gone ): and then people like joel fell while trying something stupid so it was totally deserved HAHAH. and there was one part at old changi hospital that loke had been warning us about like the entire way before we reached. and when we reached he was like careful careful and we all slowed down alot alot. but somehow when we went down the slope 4 of us fell off the bikes one by one. like some domino effect. it was damn scary cos it was mingtuan first, then me, then loke, then jerick. all one by one. like i never see so many people fall down at the same time. and i was on the floor! ): haha. it was quite funny at first la cos like all 4 of us fell and somemore we all knew about that slope and blah blah. apparently the road was algae covered and we couldnt see it. and like it was drizzling (it started drizzling again halfway) so even more slippery. anyway i think i fell into abit of shock and that was quite scary. cos after i got up i was checking my wounds and like people were washing it. then when i started to walk around wah really damn scary. cos my ears started to get blocked out gradually. like can hear less and less. and then my eyes also can see less and less. and even though i thought i felt okay but like my whole head was kind of spinning and like my heartbeat damn fast and my chest area felt cold. hahaha. dont know why like that leh. then i told them i needed to sit. and joel said my face was very pale. haha. actually i was just thinking am i going to faint? haha. but then my fall wasnt that bad what. so maybe its just shock.

my wounds are ugly and painful. and my knee bone hurts. like theres some problem i think. cos painful to walk. but anyhow we had to continue another 2 hours back. after that became damn paranoid. hate the slippery walkways and whenever you try and brake a little, the back wheel skids. haha. and so there was this slope that meanie and i screamed down :D heh. but its an accomplishment! cos when we finished we were damn tired. finished at 130 so thats 4 hours of nonstop cycling. and hooray to everyone who fell and got injured (: i think the company made it all worth it. haha.

bathing was painful. and so was everything that touched the wounds. 5 in total YUCKS. im gonna have more scars. and my voice is not back yet. WHY.

national dayyyy on sunday (: had church and then short lunch with crowie and rachel. after that joined the cg guys again for real lunch. we had thai express :D yipee. very long never see the cg guys and so it was nice to just be around all of them again. even if i was the only girl. well, havent felt like that in ages. and after that met monster and we got jump tickets :D then to my house and after that we wenta my aunty’s house for dinner and watched the ndp. ndp this year’s damn nice. haha. seriously, ndp’s like one of the few things that can make me feel damn proud to be a singaporean. all those propaganda community songs actually work on me haha. the fireworks looked damn nice i wish i was there. and i liked the army parts. haha. soldiers and tanks.

hmm and back to saturday. ftb group outing! night picnic at henderson waves (: we played monopoly for daaaaamn long and had pizza and satay and chicken wings. i like that bridge. haha.

okay and im off now. i need to bandage my wounds if not it’ll rub against my shirt :/

run & hide (:

i was gonna wash toilet but then i dropped my nice flowery soap container and it broke into pieces all over the floor ): YUCKS i hate clearing up such stuff and now i got a cut! plus i liked that container haha. okay i was just gonna complain thats all.

had breakfast with meanie yesterday at ion starbucks (: why did we even go to school! ate some nice bagel thing and sat there talking. meanie said she was chatty yesterday haha. OH WELL :D we’re each other’s only friends right. so fun. but you have many many more now! haha. how can i make more meanie! ): oh and i hope you get your bids.

then it was lunch at his house. i dabao-ed. and i was very sleepy maybe because i woke up at 7.45. went to serangoon to cut my fringe. $4 only! and walk around at pasar malams and random shops. i got a nice big picnic mat now :D YAY. can picnic very often.

wenta barrage at night. my dream is to built a house on a cliff next to the sea! (: barrage is quite cold at night cos of the wind actually. but i like i like. i like the city lights and the nice wind and view. and the grass!

okay i gotta wash toilet now. followed by my smelly hamster cages. i dreamt that they mutated and molted last night :S YUCKS again.

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come back to me.

went to east coast in the morning yesterday! random last minute decision cos i felt like roller blading (: haha. taught him how to roller blade. yay im such a good teacher.

went back to the GE yong tau foo cos its nice! the bagus one haha. after that was to fassler with my mum as well (: i like fassler stretch cos there’re so many kind of food there. feels nice.

had to be at the pageant ballare and catwalk training. quite amusing watching the contestants learn how to dance and catwalk. ballare looks exciting (: haha. mark leanne michael monster and i ended up playing monopoly to kill time. after the whole thing ended everyone went to cityhall mos and ended up chilling and eating. the pageant people are seriously damn talkative and they seem to know all the gossip. haha. too many.

my voice is not back yet. omg i want it back i dont want to sound like this forever ): damn sad.

where did it all go to?