change.

i just read an old friend’s blog. its scary how people change, especially when they’ve done so for the worse. it’s sad if you’ve known people for almost 8 years, seen them grow, grown along with them, and slowly watch as we all mature, change, and drift. we all used to be close, learning from and depending on each other and watching out for each other. we all used to share the same passions and values. but when we all grew up, things changed. and those like me, can only stand from where we are and watch friends slip, change their life directions. and we can’t really do anything about it, but just well, watch, reflect, draw comparisons.

OH WELL. reflective moods are kind of fun.

my brother bought a new acoustic for his birthday (: spent this morning planning our hk itinery, doing part of my fa homework and guitaring around. and later on bobo and i went to pacey’s house to play abit of guitar, talk. anyways i need to do more hw again.

nowadays i always hear scary stuff around me. like my mum just told me that someone from church passed away in her sleep (don’t know when but recently). it’s super freaky. i’m always afraid that in the morning, someone won’t wake up. THAT IS FREAKY. oh emoness.

thoughts.

i’m the queen of procrastination. i’ve yet to blog about my desaru trip, which by the way, was wonderful, excellent, marvelous, awesome, peaceful, serene, beautiful- everything that singapore is not.

just today after watching some youtube video on the end of the world, i’ve realised yet again how short everyone’s life is. apparently, the video was about some prediction that is scientifically proven and has like a damn good backup, and it said something about the world going to end in 2013. and they had all those stuff and signs that are mentioned in the bible as well. and i’m half convinced by it. only half.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4D3upGhNW0 go watch it.

knowing that you’re only going to live 5 years more or so really changes your perspective and priorities in life. like you start focusing on different things, start wanting to treat people better, wanting to live your everyday with more meaning and the usual stuff that people feel before they die. oh i’m so morbid. but it’s true. things that used to be important to you are no longer as important. if you think about it, 5 years, it’s really fast. i won’t even have a chance to get married, give birth. well. long term investments? marriage? what can one do in 5 years? travel the world?

after watching that video, all i wanted to do was to read the bible everyday and spend more time with God. i thought i would feel pretty sad if i wasn’t able to complete the bible and know it really well before i died. and i’d like to really enjoy the best relationship with God ever as well, before i died. oh well. life is depressing.

what makes it worse is, SCHOOL IS STARTING AGAIN TOMORROW. hahaha. which means i have to go study now.

simplicity

don’t read on.

i like to look back and reflect. especially go back to my old blogs (someone took over my reservedlywild :S), and think about my life, look at other people’s lives, especially my friends. and draw similarities, look at what reminds me of me, what they have that i used to have, or perhaps what i have now that they used to have. it makes me happy haha. and i see people that really remind me of me sometimes. and i’m like omg. haha (: certainly i was more expressive in the past, or at least on my blog. and i was definitely more driven as well, more easily excitable over anything. and i found motivation easily from silly things that happened. i was/still am weird.

i look at juniors/friends/people from afar (like fb) and feel like some of them are going through what i’ve been through before. i’d like to feel stressed over studies, nervous over exams again, excited over dance, high over cheap-thrills we did in school, elated over achieving something i’ve been wanting so much, happy because i saw some people, blessed over the littlest things that happen to me that can just make my day (i still do feel that way, but seldom).

i feel like a block of wood right now though :DD i feel like zhishu HAHAHA. i’d pretty much want to relive those feelings again.

sometimes i look back at my life and i envy myself for some strange reason. haha, i think its because i look at my younger self as another person. so detatched huh. what is wrong with me?! lol, i must have changed alot (:

i wonder what people would think if they knew my life as it is now. what exactly i do everyday, well, just things i do. i bet they’d be really shocked. yes, i was just thinking ‘how many people actually know that i go to jaya’s house everyday (or almost)?’ many people are convinced we are GAYYYYY and you may go ‘eee’ and whatever :| i laugh. no. but i am honestly convinced that not many people in the world really understand what friendship that is stronger and deeper than (ok, or perhaps as strong as) kinship/bgr means. if they really knew and had a friend like that, and i doubt many people have such friends, they wouldn’t be saying stupid things, and they would be happy (: its rare and its a blessing. and for that i applaud b&g.

shucks, sometimes i really regret telling people about my blog. they must think i am damn weird and warped and i am so sick.

apart from those stuff, my life is so repetitive. but i’m still happy with it (: i dont really want change in my life now hahaha.

and oh, randomness, once upon a december sounds really mystical and creepy, but i like it (: lol.

things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember. and the song, someone sings, once upon a demcember.