why why why? why am i feeling this way? dread. and guilt, shame & sadness. alot of guilt. feeling very bad. go? ): don’t go? ): something’s changed. what did it mean when i said that it was my passion. i don’t want to lose the old feeling. i used to say it was my motivation, and the center of my life. now it’s nothing but a chore. but wait, in the first place, why do i even feel guilty? should i be? why should i be? i hate the feeling of debating with myself. go don’t go go don’t go and weighing out the pros and cons. and what the heck. there really are no pros at all. and no cons as well.
see the thing is, if i don’t go i’d be very guilty. but even if i went, there’s no more joy. so what’s the point.
i’m still confused. very confused. over such a small thing! go or don’t go? i can’t decide. don’t think i will be happy with my decision either way.
are we human or are we dancers? something seems to suggest that you can’t be both.